AS and Their Partners

I didn't even hear about AS until I was in my early 30s. Back when I was having behavior problems at school starting in the late 1970s, and getting labeled a gifted child in the early 1980s, no one suggested to my parents that I was on the autistic spectrum. Instead, teachers and psychologists blamed my parents -- their divorce, their parenting, their psychological health -- for my problematic behavior, my genetics for my IQ, and my behavior issues for a failure to live up to my IQ.

When I did learn about AS, it was in relation to someone other than me. I started to read about it for a friend, and I could not stop reading about it. Trash day came and went, but my garbage did not get to the curb, because I was reading about it. I missed a doctor's appointment, because I was reading about it, and did not realize it until my doctor called to see if I was okay. When I could not read about it, I thought about it.

One of the things I thought repeatedly was that much of what I was reading sounded normal. I recognized ways I thought, perceived, and played as a child. I saw both my child and my adult self in sensory issues, and some communication issues. Didn't everyone do and think the same things? But I didn't have autism, or Asperger's Syndrome, so I would rationalize that it must be the same issues on a whole other level of magnitude. If certain things were difficult for me, they must be very difficult for people with AS. I was impressed, because I knew that level of difficulty must make functioning on a daily basis with AS extremely hard.

During all of my reading in books and on the internet, I found AS and their Partners, among other forums. It looked like a pretty safe place to me, but I waited several months before privately emailing to ask for access. Once I finally started posting, someone quickly suggested to me that I take " the quiz," implying I had some AS traits myself. I rolled my eyes, but I took the quiz to prove them wrong, confident my result would be "very like neurotypical."

Surprise! It wasn't. I didn't stop reading or thinking about AS, but I did start to research and consider it as applicable to me. I analyzed every aspect of my life from childhood to adulthood. A lot of things began to fit together in ways they never had. However, this was (is) a long and ongoing process, as I had always believed that my frequent misunderstandings with people, the flack I got for being "blunt," my intolerance for certain sensations and other issues were personality flaws that needed fixing and overcoming. Now I realize that they are part of my neurological wiring, and while I may need some coping techniques to make it easier for myself or others, these are parts of me to be accepted.

AS aside, I love reading -- mostly fiction, especially sci fi, but plenty of non -- photography (I covet Gerry's darkroom), ice skating, swimming especially in the ocean or large bodies of freshwater, watching TV on DVD, and yoga. I often delve into a topic of interest on the internet, mostly likely related to a medical issue or information technology. I have a large collection of various music mostly on CD, an even larger collection of books, and several happy houseplants. I also have bachelor of arts and a master of science. Oh yeah, and most days I show up at work. I enjoy being with friends, preferably one or maybe two at a time, and not without time between to be not around people.