AS and their Partners forum is moderated by dedicated volunteers who have, themselves, searched for greater understanding in AS relationships. Each visited the forum and in the process found not only a supportive community, but the ability and network to share and help others.

As moderators, Gerry, Karen and Alex welcome new members, direct visitors to helpful posts, answer forum-related questions, and monitor the forum to help maintain a healthy and positive atmosphere for both AS and NT members. (see the rules in "How the Forum Works" section) The purpose of the forum is to provide a "safe place" to obtain and discuss AS-related information; those who use it specifically to ridicule, hurt or promote negativity will be dealt with by the moderators and may be asked to leave or blocked from further activity in the AS and their Partners forum.

They are also forum members, so you will often see posts or responses from them. A little info about each, in his or her own words, follows below.

Gerry Lockhart is the forum host, as well as the Webmaster for this site. He appears on the forum as Gerry. Forum ID is GerryLoc. He usually is one of the moderators during Friday night chat.

Karen and Alex are moderators of the forum and also help out during chat sessions.
Karen is known as Ambrotos.
Alex is known as Aliasalex.

MEET GERRY: At 50 I finally found out why I had felt “different” for half a century. My wife and I were in the car listening to an NPR interview with Dawn Prince-Huges in 2004 and as she talked about her life, how she saw the world around her and many of her feelings, I thought “that sounds just like me!” My wife—an NT—said it out loud. We both recognized almost immediately that this AS thing “fit.” I had never heard of Aspergers, but listening to Prince-Huges was all the incentive I needed to learn more, so that evening I started a search, in typical aspie style, to learn everything I could on the subject.

The more I read the more it explained. It was in that early search that I found the forum and Diane—the forum’s founder—and she welcomed me and almost immediately I felt like I had found “my” people.

I’ve been fortunate, as I’ve continued to discover more about AS my NT partner has been nearly as interested as I and we’ve spent some long hours reading and discussing, including a two-day trip to and from our grandson’s birthday celebration during which she read aloud—part of the time by flashlight—while I drove. The book on that trip was Diagnosing Jefferson and it was a wonderful chance for us to learn through a “safe” shared experience.

I’m now 53, my wife is 50, and between us we have five children from our first marriages—within the last four years, I’ve gained a lot of knowledge about AS and a lot of grandchildren, too. We have six, three girls and three boys, and two more on the way. Yes, we’ve recognized traits in our children (we strongly suspect that my wife’s father is AS) and now in our grandchildren.

I’ve worked in engineering positions in electrical, instrumentation and control systems, and computer programming for various companies, including 19 years for an international energy corporation, seven years for a fortune 100 company and currently for a small leading international lab quality control company. My NT wife and I are both very interested in a lot of different things, including all kinds of creative work (she is a designer and marketing director) and home projects. Our “toys” include a stained glass studio area, a candle making workroom, a print shop, a loom, pottery corner with wheel and kiln, photography and darkroom, and woodworking shop.

MEET KAREN: I am a 31-year-old mom to five active boys. I have four years of academic courses at a community college in the areas of child and youth work, social work and educational assistant , but when it came to actually using my knowledge in a practical setting (group counseling for teen girls in a lab setting) it turned out that I could not read people well enough to respond appropriate to their emotions. I tended to shut down when things did not go as planned.

I knew nothing of AS at that point but decided that there was something more going on than the ADHD I had been diagnosed with when my professor tried to show me my errors and I was incapable of picking out which body on the video was my own ...until I saw a direct shot of my face.

I found Delphi forums about seven years ago looking for info about ADHD in adults and over time had a couple of people ask me if I was "aspie." I said NO. I did not know what that meant.

A couple of years ago I was in the park with one of my boys who was having a meltdown and a sympathetic mom approached me and said, "I recognize that shriek. Is he on the autism spectrum?" I said NO...but she said, "I don't mean to be rude, but....look into it." I started to research and requested a referral from my doctor to a specialist for my son. I was still in denial about myself at that point but seeing as I seemed to have a "few traits" I searched Delphi for some related forums.

Since then four professionals working with my children have recognized AS in me and I have found that I identify quite well with other aspies. I found AS and their Partner forum and it felt like family ...a very odd feeling. I am not used to fitting in. So, that how I got here.

What do I like doing? I love making stuff ...I make chainmail jewelry, knit, crochet, sew and do any other craft that I get my hands on the materials for and find the time to do. I read a lot, both fiction and non. Currently reading about forensic neuro and psycholpathology...the minds of killers are scary by fascinating. More than anything I would love someday to go back to school and study something that might actually provide me with the ability to work in a field that interests me.

MEET ALEX: I didn't even hear about AS until I was in my early 30s. Back when I was having behavior problems at school starting in the late 1970s, and getting labeled a gifted child in the early 1980s, no one suggested to my parents that I was on the autistic spectrum. Instead, teachers and psychologists blamed my parents -- their divorce, their parenting, their psychological health -- for my problematic behavior, my genetics for my IQ, and my behavior issues for a failure to live up to my IQ.

When I did learn about AS, it was in relation to someone other than me. I started to read about it for a friend, and I could not stop reading about it. Trash day came and went, but my garbage did not get to the curb, because I was reading about it. I missed a doctor's appointment, because I was reading about it, and did not realize it until my doctor called to see if I was okay. When I could not read about it, I thought about it.

One of the things I thought repeatedly was that much of what I was reading sounded normal. I recognized ways I thought, perceived, and played as a child. I saw both my child and my adult self in sensory issues, and some communication issues. Didn't everyone do and think the same things? But I didn't have autism, or Asperger's Syndrome, so I would rationalize that it must be the same issues on a whole other level of magnitude. If certain things were difficult for me, they must be very difficult for people with AS. I was impressed, because I knew that level of difficulty must make functioning on a daily basis with AS extremely hard.

During all of my reading in books and on the internet, I found AS and their Partners, among other forums. It looked like a pretty safe place to me, but I waited several months before privately emailing to ask for access. Once I finally started posting, someone quickly suggested to me that I take " the quiz," implying I had some AS traits myself. I rolled my eyes, but I took the quiz to prove them wrong, confident my result would be "very like neurotypical."

Surprise! It wasn't. I didn't stop reading or thinking about AS, but I did start to research and consider it as applicable to me. I analyzed every aspect of my life from childhood to adulthood. A lot of things began to fit together in ways they never had. However, this was (is) a long and ongoing process, as I had always believed that my frequent misunderstandings with people, the flack I got for being "blunt," my intolerance for certain sensations and other issues were personality flaws that needed fixing and overcoming. Now I realize that they are part of my neurological wiring, and while I may need some coping techniques to make it easier for myself or others, these are parts of me to be accepted.

AS aside, I love reading -- mostly fiction, especially sci fi, but plenty of non -- photography (I covet Gerry's darkroom), ice skating, swimming especially in the ocean or large bodies of freshwater, watching TV on DVD, and yoga. I often delve into a topic of interest on the internet, mostly likely related to a medical issue or information technology. I have a large collection of various music mostly on CD, an even larger collection of books, and several happy houseplants. I also have bachelor of arts and a master of science. Oh yeah, and most days I show up at work. I enjoy being with friends, preferably one or maybe two at a time, and not without time between to be not around people.