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Patterns and their impact on an Aspergers individual. By Gerry Lockhart - www.ASandTheirPartners.org What comes to mind when I say the word, Pattern? A template and or instructions to make something? (i.e. A dress, wall hanging, basket, wooden cabinet, etc.)? A design such as a plaid, or repeating motif? I hope to broaden your concept of a "pattern" before the evening is over. What about the shape of music? Or mathematical equations? Or sequence of events? Or a map of a city? Or the sensations of eating a cookie? Or the process of getting ready for school in the mornings? Think of a pattern as a surface that curves such that it's shape snuggly fits the components that the pattern describes. Something like the formed plastic sheet that lines the boxes for some toys that have multiple pieces. The shapes depressed in the plastic describe the piece that fit into each spot. If a piece is missing or out of place it is very obvious. But, remember the "piece" does not have to be a physical "thing", it could be a concept, or a feeling, or a taste, or an occurrence, a word..... essentially anything and everything. As you see, I'm not talking about just visual patterns. Many of us with Aspergers “see” or maybe it's better said that we are aware of and detect patterns in just about everything. It is how we map out our world, it's how we know what to expect, allows us to feel safe, it makes this alien world not so alien, part of it becomes known. (how many of you can walk through a dark house without bumping in to anything? - I can, I'm just following the pattern in my head that describes my home, I don't need to physically see - unless something has been moved) Patterns can be visual, or audible, or tactile (textures), odors, events, data, information. Why do you think most of us love sciences and math (or for some language)? Patterns. Science is all patterns. A scientist looks for a pattern that matches the data he collects. It's just called a hypotheses or theory. Music is all patterns, language is patterns. (It is thought Mozart could have been diagnosed with Aspergers if it was known in his time. He was known for composing his music completely in his head before writing it down. He “saw” the pattern the music made, once he had completed the pattern, it was a matter of transcribing it onto paper.) Many of us on the Aspergers portion of the Autism Spectrum are what I refer to as Pattern Matchers. We strive to complete the patterns, to remove the flaws. Fulfilling the pattern is lifegiving to us – it is a great source of pleasure. It's something we're very good at. And when the pattern fits and all the pieces are in their rightful places – it's an incredible “Ahhhhhhh” moment. A pattern that is complete and perfect is a thing of beauty and pleasure. The knowledge that you did it is the reward for doing it. An incomplete pattern is attention stealing. A pattern containing flaws is a thing of irritation and pain. When there is a flaw either because an incorrect piece has been placed there, or it is discovered the pattern is incorrect for the data – it is painful. It hurts. It MUST be resolved to remove the flaw. It can not be ignored, the flaw will not allow itself to be ignored. By the way, this same trait is what gives us the focus and drive to analyze and come up with conclusions, inventions and discoveries that are outside the normal way of thinking about things - - we're searching for the pattern that fits the data we see. Once we think we've found the right pattern we are obsessed with finding the missing pieces to complete it. Sensory issues: Granted, many sensory problems are because of having hypersensitive senses and an inability to discriminate between simultaneous stimuli. All incoming information has the same priority or value. Bright lights, loud sounds can cause pain; tastes, odors and touch can be overpowering. Groups of people having multiple conversations at once are nothing by a chaos of noise. That becomes very frustrating. Some have synesthesia, where senses get mixed and combined. But, in addition it's pattern matching. Tags in clothing: The problem with them is twofold. 1st is the scratching irritation from the tag itself, but 2nd is the fact that where the tag touches you disrupts the pattern of sensations being felt over the rest of your body from your clothing. Most of it is a fairly constant weight, pressure, etc. But that one spot where the tag is stands out, it doesn't fit the pattern of everything else. It disrupts everything and focuses all attention on the tag. Sounds. There is constant background noise most everywhere. Most people don't notice it. We do. We also detect patterns in the noise. Some are soothing patterns, some are not. But, patterns none the less. What will cause irritation is when something in that mix just doesn't fit with the rest. It might be repetition sound.. and nothing else is. Or the pattern of the repetition is erratic – very annoying that is. All the focus of our mind and senses turn to this non-fitting piece in the pattern. For example: You're listening to a orchestra playing a very beautiful piece, everything perfectly in tune... except, one violin that is very far out of tune and is playing the wrong notes and isn't playing in time with everyone else. It is so screechy and loud that all the rest of the beauty is shattered and all you hear is that one horrible instrument. You just want it to stop playing. You're unable to enjoy and listen the the beauty of all the rest of the instruments. As long as the piece exists, the pattern is in agony. The longer you're exposed to it, the more you want to escape from it. Dawn Prince-Hughes in her book “The Songs of the Gorilla Nation” talks about being a child and having trouble learning to add. Synesthesia was causing her problems, the pattern she was using was based on the colors she saw for the numbers. The colors for the numbers being added, when mixed did not result in the color of the number that was the result of the addition. For her the pattern did not match. Obsessions: During an obsessive interest, we are driven to learn anything and everything about whatever that obsession is. We're filling in the blanks in the pattern that explains that thing. Any incomplete pattern screams to be completed. Something you should be aware of about obsessions: We really don't have a lot of control over what the obsessions are or for how long they will last. An obsession basically grabs us when something we have seen, read, heard, experienced snaps into pattern. (Ah, this pattern has an interesting texture... lets explore it and find everything that fits in here.) What all does this mean? Well, many behavior issues can be traced to this need to pattern match. When impeded from fulfilling the pattern or correcting a flaw we rebel. Examples: Interrupting the pursuit of an obsession. Not being allowed to correct a mistake a teacher has made. When a pattern we feel is correct and proper is disturbed, we complain. Examples: Moving the furniture, changing the routine that the family does on a certain day of the week, not having the proper shirt available because of something else that is related to it “requires” that shirt. Introduce something into our environment that does not fit the existing pattern for that environment and you've created a point of irritation. A flaw in the pattern. Either that something new does not go there at all.... or the pattern being used to explain this piece of the world is wrong. It's no longer in equilibrium and becomes unstable. The Aspie is in panic inside, trying to resolve the problem... his/her preference is to remove that offending piece, because all was well before that. Returning to known “correctness” is better than floundering in unknown darkness searching for a new pattern. Change a routine and the pattern for it no longer fits. Think of it as a map of your location for finding you're way around. But somehow you've been transported to a foreign land, but yet still have the same map - - it's useless, and you're lost. Not pleasant. Put the routine back is the Aspie's solution. Interrupt the pursuit of an obsession and you are causing great stress for the obsession follower. Filling in the details of that pattern is the only thing that matter to him/her when they are off into that world. Time and distance have no meaning when on such a journey. Dragging them out of that mode is like not letting them breath. The mind goes into panic mode, like an addict going through withdraw. Rules need to be “patternable” before they will be remembered. The description of that pattern is what is stored, not the rule itself – the pattern is used to recreate the rule for the situation that fits that pattern as needed. A “because I say so” rule is not patternable, it makes no logical sense. It will not be ignored on purpose, it just will not be remembered. I haven't really given you any solutions here. My hope was to try to explain a bit about what is going on inside the person, to get an idea of what it is so difficult to change something or remember some things while others are easy to remember. Finding and understanding the reason for certain behavior can greatly facilitate acceptance or finding the correct method of modifying it. |
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